Who am I?
This is one thing i have been pondering for the last few weeks. First of all I am not so eloquent as my husband john so don't expect this blog to be.
I know that i am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and even granddaughter, but where is me in all of this?
I think this is a common question of people with young kids. One day you are carefree, doing what you want at that moment and time, not even once considering others, and then the next, everything changes. Your once relaxed personality would jump at a whim of going off to the beach, for a bike ride, or even out to dinner has now changed. You are asked to do something fun and the stress of feedings, nap time, skin allergies, diapers, doctor's appointments floods your brain to where the most treasured fun activities are no longer worth it. Is this how it will always be?
Now know that I am not complaining, I would not change anything, I am just trying to reconnect with my self through this blog.
I remember being single and longing for a companion, and people that had one saying "Enjoy your being single, embrace it" I always thought "You embrace it" I don't want this. I feel like maybe i understand what they were saying now.
I also remember being married and wanting kids so bad, and people telling me Enjoy what you have. So I think i did enjoy what i had when i had it. It is odd to me thinking now back, oh how great it was, yet appreciating the fulfilling life i live now.
I can't say I would go back and relive anything i just feel like this whirlwind of life has overtaken and now i am left wondering what happened to me?
I think getting married changes you , you become someones wife and maybe loose a part of yourself but also uncover a new part of your self you have never known. I guess the same can be said for having kids, except i feel like i don't even know who i am except a caretaker of others.
I am okay with this, i mean how your life is no longer yours but at the hands of little ones that depend on you. I just wonder how can i give to them and still feel like i know who i am.
This is where i am at. just saying.